Pinocchio and his girlfriend were having problems. Every time they would do it, she would complain about splinters, so Pinocchio went to Gepetto about the problem. Gepetto told Pinocchio to go to the hardware store and buy some sandpaper to sand off the splinters before he had sex with his …

Q: What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? A: Doughnuts.

What do you get when you cross a football player with a hooker? An illegal procedure.

A city slicker went to the country to buy a pig. When he approached the pig farmer, he asked for a 25-pound pig. The pig farmer put the pig’s tail in his mouth and bobbed his head up and down. He then told the city slicker that the pig was …

A husband said to his wife, “I will take a photo of your breasts and frame it .” The wife said to her husband, “I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it.”

What is the difference between a pickpocket and a gynecologist? A pickpocket snatches watches and a gynecologist watches snatches.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pickle with a female deer? A: A dildo.

Q: What’s another name for pickled bread? A: Dill dough.

There was a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous chicks swarming all around him. Seeing this, a second guy strolls on up to him and asks, “What’s your secret?” The guy whispers, “All you gotta do is stick a pickle in your pants.” In a fluorish, the second …

A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, “I don’t have that kind of money, but I’ll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother.”He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her …