An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch. “You used to sit closer to me,” said the woman. So the man moved closer. “You used to put your arm around me.” So the man put his arm around her. “You used to nibble on …

What do mice and men have in common? They both run around hunting for holes!

A hillbilly is sitting in a bar, drinking, when a woman sidles up next to him. “You’re cute,” says the woman, “do you want to go back to my place and have some nasty sex?” “You bet!” exclaims the hillbilly, “But I have to tell you, I’m a virgin. I’ve …

Q: What did the nut say to the bolt? A: “Screw me.”

Did you hear that nursing homes are starting to give Viagra to the old men living there? It’s to keep them from rolling out of bed.

A nun comes to her Mother Superior and asks her to hear a confession. “Today Father Goodwin told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then opened my gates with his key.” “That bastard!” says Mother Superior. “He told …

A guy joined a nudist camp and when he told his mom she didn’t believe him. So he sent her a picture of his top half. A week later his grandma wanted a picture but he accidently sent the bottom half. Knowing she had bad eyesight, he didn’t think much …

Q. Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and a dozen donuts. Q. Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony? A. The girl who can eat the last donut.

A guy goes to see a doctor who asks him, “What seems to be the matter?” The patient answers, “You have to promise not to laugh.” The doctor nods, and the patient pulls down his pants and reveals a very small penis. Holding back laughter, the doctor managed to ask, …

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.“No!” yells the blonde.Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.“For the last time, no!” says the blonde. Frustrated, the …