What is Moby Dick’s father’s name? Papa Boner.

How is a soyburger like a dildo? They”re both substitutes for meat.

A farmer ordered a high-tech milking machine. It happened that the equipment arrived when his wife was away. So he decided to test it on himself first. He inserted his penis into the equipment, turned the switch on, and voila, everything else was automatic! He really had a good time …

Q: Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?A: Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.

Roxanne Pulitzer: sex scandal, Florida. William Kennedy Smith: sex scandal, Florida. Pee-Wee Herman: sex scandal, Florida. Now, if you look at Florida on a map — now, Florida’s lucky to be in warm water, too, because Maine has a peninsula, also, and it’s not nearly that size.

If you’re gonna blame teen sex on rock ‘n’ roll, why don’t we just blame incest on country and western?

Doppler radar’s picking up a ridge of high pressure… in my pants.

The forecast calls for a wintry mix followed by a warming trend of you in my hot tub.

A man walks up to a stranger in the street. “Do you like pussy cats?” said the stranger. “Yeah, I do,” said the man. “But how did you know my name was ‘Katz?”

Q: Why is a man’s pee yellow and his sperm white? A: So he can tell if he’s coming or going.