Two teenagers walk through a park and see two rabbits getting it on, fast and furious. “What are they doing?” asks the girl. “They’re jumping rope,” says the boy. “Maybe I’ll teach you how someday.” “I want you to teach me now,” says the girl. So the two go behind …

I got a German porno movie the other day. It has subtitles, which is great ’cause, otherwise, I would have had no idea what was going on.

I have a porno movie where they try to make the woman have an orgasm in it. Oh my God, it’s like 10 hours long.

Black guys have the coolest lines. They have like, ‘Yo, once you go black, you never go back.’ What do you white guys get to say? It’s like, ‘Hey, once you got white, you just don’t feel so good.’

I don’t have a huge penis, but I had everything in my bedroom built to three-quarters scale so it looks bigger.

Did you hear about the man who joined a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.

The economy is running smooth. I don’t have a problem with this. As long as the economy is running smooth, I figured we about three interns away from a balanced budget.

The male bull elephant is a solitary creature, only joining the herd for mating and courtship.’ That’s a direct quote from the Discovery Channel. So other than that, he’s over here eating, sleeping and pooping, and the rest of the herd is fine with that. You understand? They’re not making …

Hey babe, I have a shot I’d like to drive to your basket. High five!

Hey babe, with you, I’d like to try some inside shooting. High five!