Jack and Jill went up a hill to have a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

When I met my ex-girlfriend’s father for the first time, he’s like, ‘What do you do for fun?’ I’m like, ‘Your daughter.’

Q: What’s the best part of a blow job? A: The ten minutes of silence.

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: “Aw, f**k it! We’ll drink in the dark!”

How do you get a redneck gal pregnant? Come on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

An old man enters a confessional and proudly exclaims, “Father, I have to tell you what happened to me last night. I’m 90 years old, and I made love to two 18-year-old women for eight hours!”The stern priest replies, “That is a sin. I will have to give you a …

What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater.

Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys? A: With a crowbar.

A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.“Why do you want a glass of cider?” the teacher asks.“To take away the pain,” sobs the little girl.“What do you mean?” the teacher asks.“Well,” sobs the …

What do you call a person who can sit on an ice cream and tell the flavor? A smartass!