Three women talk about their husband’s performance as lovers.The first woman says, “My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love.”The second woman says, “My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes.”The third woman …

How is a hurricane like a marriage? At the beginning there’s a lot of blowing and sucking, and when it’s over your house is gone.

Q: What did the farmer say when he read that genetic engineers were implanting human DNA into goats?A: “Hell, I’ve been doing that for years.”

Dear Pamela Anderson, guess what two things are never on when I watch you on television: the volume to the TV and my pants.

A young man got a new job running the register at a store. The old store owner said he would teach him how to up-sell.“Watch how I do it,” he said to the new hire.As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to …

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin!

An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home.“Just think,” the old man says, “we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago.”“Well,” the old lady snickers, “what do you say — should we get naked?”The two immediately strip to the buff …

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say “tomato” if she wants him to go slower and “lettuce” for him to go faster. As they …

Nice rags. Haven’t I seen you rooting around the same pile before?