Q: How do you give a dog a bone? A: Tickle his balls.

Q: What does a woman do with her a**hole when she’s having a orgasm? A: She leaves him at home with the kids.

There was an old couple who hadn’t celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out. The old woman stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. Her husband yelled, “You can’t go out …

George of the Jungle lived all alone. There was no one to have sex with him, so instead he screwed a hole in a tree. One day, he found a woman in the jungle and the call to do the wild thing became too much. Soon they were making out …

I was working a club once, and the waitress came up to one of my buddies, and she goes, ‘I really want to sleep with Geoff Keith.’ That’s me! And then she goes — I swear to God — ‘But I just know that he’s way out of my league.’ …

I’ve been on the road a long time. I haven’t really had the chance to see my girlfriend. She called me up; she wanted us to have phone sex. I’m not really into phone sex, but to make her happy, we had the phone sex. It was really nice — …

I’ve been having a lot of hang-ups lately about homosexuality. I don’t know why; I just have them. For a long time, I thought maybe one of my roommates was gay. So finally, last night, when he asked me to slow dance naked with him in the strobe light, I …

When I was 18 years old, one of my older brothers, he took me aside, and he told me he was gay. So, I called the police. I said, ‘Could you send over a cop car? My brother’s a homosexual.’ They said, ‘Sir, we cannot send over a cop car …

She has a change of heart. She goes, ‘OK, I’ll have a three-way — you, me and another girl — but afterwards, you better seriously consider proposing to me.’ So I said alright, sounded fair. So we had the three-way, and like a month later, she goes, ‘Hey, aren’t you …

May my shorts be with you!