Now that I’ve met you, I no longer need my handheld.

Your mouth says no, but I’ll bet your avatar says yes.

I’ve got a Local Area Network that needs your attention.

Trust me, I’m neither “micro,” nor “soft.”

You must be 36-25-36 — and those are all perfect squares!

How about we add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

Please manipulate me digitally.

I’m more machine now than man… and I think you know what I mean.

You look just like my girlfriend avatar!

Even if you were a limited-edition convention exclusive figure numbered to 5,000, I’d still play with you.