A city guy buys a ranch. He sits on the porch of his new house taking in the fresh country air when a dusty truck pulls up.“Howdy, neighbor!” calls the man in the truck. ” I came to invite you to a little Welcome to the Neighborhood party at my …

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display. Boy: “Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?” Dad: “Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights.” Boy: “So, why do they make packs of three?” Dad: “For the college guys for Friday, …

Q: Why can’t a blonde count to 70?

In some ways, all men are the same. For example, why do you all like to have sex first thing in the morning? Do we smell good first thing in the morning? ‘Cause you don’t.

I don’t really think anybody gets off properly in 69. Matter of fact, I think 69 is rude. It’s rude. It’s like saying to someone, ‘Listen, we’re gonna have sex, right? But we’re gonna go Dutch.’

I’ll show you a new meaning for “sick day.”

Do you mind if my secretary watches?

I want you to reach out and loop me in.

I think you’ll be able to raise the bar.

I bet you can increase my productivity.