Yo’ Mama is so fat, yo’ daddy needs a Sherpa to help get him on top.

My grandmother is older than the word ‘supper.’

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says, “To be continued.”

I found some gifts at the Christian book store I did not expect to find. I picked one up out of the shirt bin; it said, ‘Someone I know received eternal salvation and will dwell in the house of the Lord forever, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.’

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she wears a watch on each arm — one for each time zone she’s in.

A man notices his grandpa sitting on his front porch, completely naked from the waist down. “Grandpa, why are you sitting out here without pants?” he exclaims.The old man says, “Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on and got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma’s …

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she sprays her clothes with Pledge and walks around the house to clean.

You go to the gym, right, and they got a machine for every body part. You know — they got something for the legs, the arms, the back. But you know, you can’t walk up to the trainer and be like, ‘Where’s the man-tit machine at?’

I got that whole thug-gangsta-rap-hip-hop-baggy-pants thing going on. I really don’t want the baggy pants — I just can’t find no damn pants that fit me.

Q: What’s that wrinkly thing on Grandma? A: Grandpa.