Confucious say, “He who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with stinky finger.”

Confucious say, ”Baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.”

Confucious say: ”Man with d**k in peanut butter jar is f**king nuts.”

Confucious say, “Is good for girl to meet boy in park but is better for boy to park meat in girl.”

Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.

A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, “What are you going to do with all of those?” The guy replies, “I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he s**ts in little plastic baggies!”

Q. What did the penis say to the condom? A. “Cover me. I’m going in.”

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?A: A f**king know-it-all.

A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he …

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory will be off limits to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first …