Like a lot of women, I’m bisexual. Once I have sex with you — bye!

Q: What happens if you cut off your right butt cheek? A: You’ll be left behind.

Want a taste of my hanging sausage?

I’ll pound your meat any way you want me to.

Q: What do you call a redneck with a pig under one arm and a sheep under the other?A: Bisexual.

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local kid named Bubba, comes in to pee. The husband slyly looks over and is shocked at how immensely endowed Bubba is. He can’t help himself, and asks Bubba what his …

Two brooms are getting married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom says to the groom broom, “I think I’m going to have a whisk.” The groom broom says, “How can that be? We haven’t even swept together!”

I didn’t do too well in college. The only class I did well in was psychology. My term paper on dreams was actually published. Do you read Penthouse? I was the guy named JoJo.

My wife told me today that I’m gonna become a father for the very first time. The bad news is — we already have two kids.

You can tell I’ve been married for a while. Went to the doctor’s last week, he said, ‘Have you had sex in the last seven days?’ And I said, ‘No, my birthday’s in April.’