Q: What goes in hard and pink but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum — and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Q: How can you always tell a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.

You just dove from the stage of my dreams into the mosh pit of my so-called life.

That flannel makes you look particularly undernourished in this garage light.

I’d like to solve your Rubik’s Cube.

I pity the fool who doesn’t come home with me tonight!

Like Kirk Cameron, I am experiencing growing pains — in my pants.

I’ve got the Jones for you to enter my Temple of Doom.

You’re the activator in my Jheri curl.

Call me Gary Coleman because I know all about diff’rent strokes.