How did rich people get their money? They were calm and collected.

If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left? A million dollars minus 75 cents.

Who makes a million dollars a day? Someone who works in a mint.

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting? Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to.

What dog has money? A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”

Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,”DING!”