I have a roommate who’s very young — much younger than me, 20 years old — and she said one thing to me that I was like, ‘Oh my God, you are so young.’ Right when I moved in, she went, ‘Listen, I don’t like when people party around me, …

Yo’ Mama’s head is so big, she dreams in IMAX.

A guy goes to the psychiatrist wearing shorts made of clear plastic wrap. The psychiatrist says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

My mother says, ‘You know, J-Lo doesn’t even speak Spanish.’ I say, ‘I know, but her ass does.’

Yo’ Mama’s hair is so nasty, Wilson couldn’t pick it.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.

I saw this today in the window of Victoria’s Secret: a camouflage thong. On what battlefield are you finding it necessary to disguise yourself as shrubbery with a great ass?

Q: What are they doing about the mysterious hole discovered at the Carefree Nudist Camp?A: Nothing — the police won’t look into it.

Yo’ Mama’s glasses are so thick, when she looks on a map, she sees people waving.

Yo’ Mama’s so fat, she uses Interstate 95 as a slip and slide.