Yo’ Mama is so fat, the highway department makes her wear an “Oversize Load” sign every time she takes a walk.

You’re not like the other wenches. I could tell the moment I brushed your bodice.

I’ve never been to a moon like yours.

Hey baby, you look weightless to me.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she jumps off the high dive, she shows up on radar.

Yesterday I bought a cuckoo clock at an Army Navy store. Last night at 10, the bird chirped 2,200 times.

We have to shave our armpits. Whose idea was that? That’s a concave area with a straight razor. Could we invent something? Because the best I can do is a mohawk.

And there’s a reason for this, why men experience pain more acutely than women — that’s because there’s always part of a woman’s brain thinking about shoes.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she hauls ass, she gotta make two trips.

There are even makeup tricks to make your boobs look bigger — like I want to date the idiot that fools.