Q: What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married? The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to “iron,” then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener.

Male secretary : “Feel free to use my dictaphone.” New blonde employee : “No thanks, I’ll just use my finger like everyone else.”

A man comes home from work one night to catch his blonde girlfriend sliding down the banister naked. He blurts out, “What do you think you’re doing?” “Just heating up dinner” she replies.

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor. She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down. He gets out his light and says “Open wide.” “I can’t” replies the blonde, “the chair’s fitted with arms.”

A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, “Bring me a beer.” The bartender then asks, “Anheuser-Busch?” To which she replies, “Fine thanks, and how’s your cock?”

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, “Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I’ll sink?”

A lady walks into the dentist’s office, takes off her underwear, sits down on the chair and spreads her legs wide open. “You must have made a mistake” says the shocked dentist, “The gynecologist’s office is one level higher.” To that the lady replies, “No mistake, you installed my husband’s …

Hello? the blonde responded answering the phone. Hearing no response, she repeated, “Hello?” “I’ll bet you want me to come over and take you into the bedroom, undress you, lick you from head to toe, and then make mad passionate love to you until dawn.” the male voice whispered. “Scheesch! …