Q: What do a coffin and a condom have in common? A: They’re both filled with stiffs, one’s coming, one’s going.

Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica? A: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.

Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole? A: A 30ft cock that wants to reach out and touch someone’

There are a lot of folks that can’t understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA. Well, here’s the answer: It’s simple………nobody bothered to check the oil. Didn’t know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical. Most of the oil is …

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?” When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took …

One day there was two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The …

An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t …

Two Marines were sitting around talking one day. The first Marine asked the second Marine, “If they were to drop a bomb right now, what would be the first thing you would do?” The second Marine said, “I would screw the first thing that moved. What would you do?” The …

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. “Private,” the officer said, “I’m recommending …

What’s the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around.