One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.” The husband, rejected, turns over and …

An eighty year old couple decide to try for a child. They visit the doctor who asks the old geezer to produce a sperm sample in a bottle. After two weeks, the couple return and the bottle is empty. “What’s the problem?” asks the doctor. “Well,” says the old man, …

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m …

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon …

Two teenagers wander off to the bushes during a softball game on the outskirts of town and start necking. After a while the boy stops. “You know we’ve been doing this for a few weeks now and I think it’s time we went all the way,” he pleads. “Well, maybe,” …

A girl brings a guy home one night. They get into her apartment and immediately she suggests that they do “69″. “What the hell is that?” asks the guy. Realizing he’s inexperienced, she tries to explain,”I put my head between your legs and you put your head between mine.” Still …

One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The …

A man walked into an appliance store and asked the price of a 25″ remote controlled color television set. “One dollar,” the clerk replied. “You’ve got to be kidding.” “Look, Mac,” the clerk said, “do you want it or not?” Of course, the customer gave him a dollar. On the …

Winnie-the-Pooh is eating a roll. Piglet arrives. – Give me some roll, Winnie! – It’s not a roll, it’s a bun. – Give me some bun, Winnie! – It’s not a bun, it’s a bap. – Give me some bap, Winnie! – Get lost, you pig! Stop being such a …

Winnie and Piglet sit on the bank of the river and smoke dope. A crocodile comes out of the river: – Hey pals, let me have a whiff. – Get lost, oh green one! – Come on guys, just one! – Go %@~# yourself! So what would you do? Well, …