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Měsíční archivy: July 2016

An American tourist went into

An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained. “Senor, these are the cojones,” the waiter replied. “The what, you say?” exclaimed the …

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A couple just got married, and when the husband

A couple just got married, and when the husband went back to his house he found that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried and gathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success. Two days after his wife disappeared the man returned home to …

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A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, you

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, you have to help me!” The doctor asks, “What’s your problem?” The guy says, “Every morning I wake up with my ‘morning flagpole’…give the wife a quick one, and then go to work. On the way to work, I carpool with …

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On the first day

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules, saying, “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anyone caught breaking this rule once will be fined $50.” He continued, “Anyone caught …

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The president got off the helicopter in

The president got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “Nice pigs, sir”. The president replied, “These are not pigs, these are authentic Arkansas Razorback hogs. I got one for Hillary and …

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A man wakes up early one morning and

A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go Bear hunting. He tells his wife, “You’ve got three choices; you can go Bear hunting with me, I’ll do you anally or you can give me a blowjob. I’m gonna load up the truck and get the dog out. …

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Three guys are

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, “Your mom’s the best sex in town!” Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to …

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A man goes skydiving for the first time. After

A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. About five seconds later, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but …

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One day a teacher was asking her class to use

One day a teacher was asking her class to use absolutely in a sentence. So Janet raised her hand and said the sky is absolutely blue, the teacher said no, it is not, sometimes is black or has different colors. Another little boy raised his hand and said “the leaves …

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A murderer,

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless …

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