Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, “Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner.” “What did it say on the banners?” Clinton asks. Saddam replies, “Allah is god, god is Allah.” Clinton …

Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.

Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies? A: He’s the stiff one.

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two–One to promise he’ll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: He doesn’t! He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Because they can’t afford any more pork.

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans.

Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: They’ve been having turkey for years.

Q: What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth? A: Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics, how to ruin the people!

Q: What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did? A: A dead girlfriend.