Tyler was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So, Tyler raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said …

Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf, which was great for the children in her class. “What Mrs Smith needs,” said one of her colleagues, “is a herring-aid.”

Why was the lightning bug unhappy? Because her children were not very bright.

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps? Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

Boy: Grandma, do you know how to croak. Grandma: No, I don’t think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he’ll be a rich man when you do.

Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test? Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

Fred: Where does the new kid come from? Harry: Alaska. Fred: Don’t bother – I’ll ask her myself.

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. “Hey kid,” he shouted. “Why don’t you go outside and play?”

I had a funny dream last night, Mom. Did you? I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep.

Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him. “Mama!” yelled the boy. “A gator jus’ bit off mah foot!” “Which one?” called his mother from inside the cabin. “How the hell should Ah know?!” he shrieked. “They all look alike to me!”