Trevor: That’s a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green. Jill: Yes, and I have another pair just like it at home.

Mandy was applying for a summer job. ‘How old are you?’ asked the owner of the store. ‘I’m twelve years old, Sir,’ answered Mandy. ‘And what do you expect to be when you grow up ?’ ‘Twenty one, Sir.

The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. ‘How high is it, Doctor?’ she wanted to know. ‘One hundred and three,’ said the doctor. ‘What is the world record?’

Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ? Sandra: No, I ain’t. Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain’t. It’s I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming. Sandra: Blimey, ain’t nobody coming ?

Grandma: You’ve left all your crusts, Mary. When I was your age I ate every one. Mary: Do you still like crusts, Grandma? Grandma: Yes, I do. Mary: Well, you can have mine.

Teacher: “Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?” Student: “So we know when to start Christmas shopping!”

Why did the nutty kid throw butter out of the window? He wanted to see a butterfly.

The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards. “No mis” he replied

Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt. I feel with my hands Miss !

My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to sew. After I had gone through a lengthy explanation of how to thread the machine, she stepped back, put her hands on her hips, and said in disbelief, “You mean you can do …