I hate new couples, that’s what I hate; old couples I respect. You’ve been with somebody 10 years, I respect that. It’s the new love I don’t like, with all the car door open, kissing and touching and dating. ‘Cause that’s bullsh*t. Everybody in here knows that real love is …
Přečíst celý »Měsíční archivy: July 2016
Steve McGrew: Other Half of the Brain
I think men need to be married. Women are the other half of our brain. That’s why God made us to be a couple. We come up with goofy ideas; the woman will think about that idea and the outcome and what can happen, stop you and save your life. …
Přečíst celý »Staggering Husband
Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?A: Shoot him again.
Přečíst celý »Speaking a Woman’s Language
CAN’T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?There is no way in hell I’m going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.… without you in it.DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?We haven’t had a fight in a while.I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU …
Přečíst celý »Six Feet Under the Sheets
Marge was cheating on her husband with another man when they heard a noise on the stairs.“Oh, my God, your husband is home! What am I going to do?”“Just stay in bed with me. He’s probably so drunk, he’s not going to notice you.”Sure enough, Marge’s husband crawled into bed, …
Přečíst celý »Singled Out
Q: What do men in a singles bar have in common?A: They’re all married.
Přečíst celý »Signs You are Growing Older
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. You turn off the lights for economical reasons, not romantic ones. You read the obituaries to find eligible women. Old ladies offer to help you cross the street. Everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work. The gleam in …
Přečíst celý »She-Devil
A man would come home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon.He looks at her and slurs, “You don’t …
Přečíst celý »Shay Shay: Problem With “The Love Connection”
My whole thing with ‘Love Connection’ is if don’t nobody want your ass down on the street, what make you think Hollywood got something for you?
Přečíst celý »Set It Free
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and …
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