Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.
Přečíst celý »Měsíční archivy: July 2016
A driver tucked this note under the
A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his automobile. “I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses.” When he came back he found a parking ticket and this note: …
Přečíst celý »A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a
A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got a phone in my Yugo!” The driver of …
Přečíst celý »When you exit the bus, please
When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. “If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you.”
Přečíst celý »In a very small alley two trucks
In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse. They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading. The other one politely asks, “When you’ve finished …
Přečíst celý »After seeing a
After seeing a documentary on how inner city youths can remove the wheels of cars in under 4 seconds with no specialist equipment, the McLaren team decided to fire their pit crew and hire four of the youths as most races can be won or lost in the pit lane. …
Přečíst celý »Five Englishmen
Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: “Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro.” “What do you mean it’s illegal?” asked the Englishmen. “Quattro means four,” replies the Italian official. “Quattro is just the name of …
Přečíst celý »Andy wants a job as a signalman on the
Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: “What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?” Andy says, “I …
Přečíst celý »One day, two guys were driving
One day, two guys were driving to a local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, …
Přečíst celý »Ole
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio. “There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared,” the weather report said. “You must park your cars on the …
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