Policeman: Didn’t you see my lights flashing? Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

Policeman: Didn’t you see that stop sign? Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

Policeman: Didn’t you see the signs with the speed limit? Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.

Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going? Motorist: No, you’re the one with the radar.

Policeman: How can you drive so recklessly? Driver: I have to, this is a getaway car.

Policeman: How can you say you don’t have any outstanding tickets? Driver: They’re all in the glove compartment.

Policeman: I suppose you’re going to tell me you weren’t speeding. Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.

Policeman: I’ve had my eye on you for some time now. Young Lady: That’s funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding.

Policeman: What do you think you’re doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour? Driver: My brakes don’t work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.

Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk? Motorist: It’s too dangerous on the street.