Dan: My little brother is a real pain. Nan: Things could be worse. Dan: How? Nan: He could be twins !

My brother’s just opened a shop. Really? How’s he doing? Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.

Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars. Little Brother: Then that other one must be Pa’s.

My brother’s one of the biggest stickup men in town. Gosh is he really? Yes, he’s a six-foot-six billposter.

Little Brother: I’m going to buy a sea horse. Big Brother: Why? Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!

Dad: Don’t be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time. Son: I do, Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!

Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine? Boy: Because he read the label, and it said ‘shake well before using.

Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where’s your little brother ? Young Monster: Hee, hee ! He’s my half-brother now!

Did the bionic monster have a brother ? No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

‘What’s your father’s occupation?’ asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year. ‘He’s a conjurer, Ma’am,’ said the new boy. ‘How interesting. What’s his favourite trick?’ ‘He saws people in half. ‘Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?’ ‘One half brother and two half …