Q: What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? A: Ok you 2, dont start anything’

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and bellied up to the bar. “What will you have?” the bartender asked. “I’ll have a glass of blood,” the first replied. “I’ll have a glass of blood, too, please,” said the second. “I’ll have a glass of plasma,” said …

Twenty-four hours in a day… twenty-four beers in a case… coincidence?’

One day a drunk walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. He drank half of it and poured the rest on the bartender. The bartender got angry, grabbed the drunk by the collar, pulled him close to his face, and asked, “Why did you do that?” The …

A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, “What’s that all about?” The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The …

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard …

What does a baby computer call his father? Data.

Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn’t push the pram – she pulled it.

What was the policeman’s baby’s first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo !

Knock knock. Who’s there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not.