Ozzy Osbourne is being sued for $3 million because, apparently, this boy’s parents believe their boy was killed due to a song by Ozzy Osbourne, called ‘Suicide Solution.’ You have to admit — off the top — it doesn’t look good for Ozzy. I’m sure his agent is going, ‘Well, …
Přečíst celý »Měsíční archivy: July 2016
Dan Naturman: Dad Gives the Talk
He sat me down, and he’s like, ‘OK, Dan, you’re going off to college. You’re going to be living away from home, in a dorm, surrounded by beautiful girls. So anyway, I got you something from the drug store.’ I’m like, ‘No, I know about condoms.’ He’s like, ‘No — …
Přečíst celý »Mike MacDonald: Rock Star Influence
The idea of a rock star making your child kill themselves is so ludicrous. I’ve enjoyed rock ‘n’ roll since I was a kid. When I was a kid, I worshiped The Beatles. I thought the Beatles were gods, but if they were to come up to me, personally, and …
Přečíst celý »Damon Williams: Death by Mosquito
A lot of things can kill you now. Ain’t this ridiculous? Mosquitoes can kill you now. Do you know how mad I would be if I died from a mosquito bite? I’m a black man, grew up on the south side of Chicago. I’ve avoided drug dealers, gang bangers, sickle …
Přečíst celý »Michael Somerville: Youngest in the Family
Everyone thinks the youngest has it easy. Parents took it easy on you. No, more like they ignore you. I was born, and they were like, ‘Listen, your name is Michael. There’s food in the fridge.’
Přečíst celý »Michael Colyar: New Father
Did I mention that I’m a new father? Yeah, my 13-year-old son just moved back in.
Přečíst celý »D.C. Curry: Not Quite Right
My kindergarten teacher was the first one to recognize something wasn’t quite right with me. She called my mama and said, ‘Ms. Kerwin, we’re sending D.C. to the house. We think he might be — retarded.’ She said, ‘Send him on home. I bet he won’t be retarded tomorrow.’
Přečíst celý »Melanie Reno: More Money in College
It’s weird, though, ’cause this is my first time job and everything, but I could’ve sworn I was making more money in college just working for my parents as their daughter.
Přečíst celý »D.C. Curry: Mama’s Backhand
My mama had a backhand that would cure most diseases.
Přečíst celý »Melanie Camacho: Busted With Marijuana
You ever see the commercial where the little boy gets caught by his dad, and he’s like, ‘I got it from you, Dad. I got it from you!’? I tried that with my father. I was like, ‘I got it from you, Dad!’ ‘You been pinching my sh*t?’ I got …
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