Teacher: “Kids, what does the chicken give you?” Student: “Meat!” Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?” Student: “Bacon!” Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?” Student: “Homework!

Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they …

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”