He was in a wheelchair, kind of a troubled kid. He’d roll away from home all the time.

I got left back in 5th grade so many times, I drove the rest of the class to school with me.

Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don’t laugh too hard – one of these may be the president someday.) Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can …

My mama would whip my butt so bad in the grocery store, they would announce it on the speakers.

I just got out of the hospital. I had some surgery. I had my mother removed from my back.

We were kids living in Hong Kong. How cool is that? Think about that for a second — everything you were playing with was made here, right here. They have it in stock.

Right after the earthquake, my mother calls me up. She goes, ‘Why don’t you move back home?’ I said, ‘Well, quite frankly, I’d rather die suddenly in an act of God than have you slowly peck me to death for 45 years.’

I don’t even know what they do, really. I think they make a lot of signs out of glitter and glue. There’s a lot of eyeliner and puffy paint. It’s like a slutty kindergarten.

I’ve been here eight months. I have been in two earthquakes, a race riot, floods and fires, and I left New York because I couldn’t handle my mother.

In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what …