Q: What do Roseanne Barr and a battleship have in common?A: They both need three tugs to get into their slips.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, her body parts sleep in shifts.

The better part of you must have rolled down your daddy’s leg.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, her bellybutton is a skate park.

Yo’ Mama is such a drunk, if it weren’t for the olives in martinis, she would starve.

I’m really trying to like baseball, but I finally figured out why I can’t watch it: I have a pulse.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and “Oh my God, it’s coming towards us!”

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, she has to sneak up to water fountains to get a drink.

So I go to flea markets to save money… I love to go. I was at a great one last week. Actually, it was a trailer park. People just let me browse through their homes.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.