Q: How do you know that Keira Knightley doesn’t exist?A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she gets turned on reading a cook book.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she asked for a price check at the 99 cent store.

They’ve opened up a new casino for people on welfare. When you put a food stamp in the slot machine and it lands on three babies, you win a block of cheese!

Yo’ Mama is so fat, “fat” is a compliment.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.

Google’s awesome because on Google, you can just type in anything and get it wrong, and it knows what you meant. It’s like psychic, right? Like two weeks ago, I typed in ‘How do you make cupcakes?,’ and it said, ‘Do you mean “How do you know if you’re gay?”‘

Yo’ Mama is so fat, the Coast Guard keeps a log of her bath times.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she thought she could read minds when she got PMS.

I don’t mind fat people, I just don’t like fat people that try to pretend that one part of their body’s fat. Like my Aunt Sara’s like that. I’ll be like, ‘Hey, Aunt Sara, you want a piece of this cake?’ She’ll be like, ‘I can’t have that cake. It’ll …