Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she thinks her binoculars are opera glasses.

Yo’ Mama is like a telephone book: available to the public, no charge.

Every gym, the water fountain situation — always the same. There’s always one water fountain everybody uses, then there’s one three feet below it, next to it, no one touches. Who’s it for? What little midget treasure trolls at your gym?

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she thinks Bill Gates is another name for toll booths.

Yo’ Mama is like McDonald’s: over 90 billion served.

I was at a club in San Francisco… and I hear, way in the back of the room, this: ‘You suck. Get off the stage. You stink.’ The thing that bugged me about it was I heard it, but also, I comped these people in to see the show for …

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she calls beepers collect.

Yo’ Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she’s back to her corner.

Have you ever dialed the wrong number, and instead of hanging up the phone, you try to scare the person on the other end of the line? I was calling this friend of mine the other day. I go, ‘Hi, is Jane there?’ He goes, ‘No, for crying out loud. …

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she threw a baseball at Batman.