A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?” The blonde said, “I think I’m gonna …

A blonde calls a pharmacy to ask if she needs an infant scale to weigh a baby. The clerk explains that many mothers figure out an infant’s weight by weighing themselves while holding the baby on an adult scale and then subtracting their own weight. “Oh, that won’t work,” replies …

A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, “Where’s the burger?” The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. “I was …

Q: What happened when the blonde saw the “NC-17: Under 17 Not Admitted” sign at the movie theater? A: She called 16 friends to come meet her.

Q: What did the blonde do when she learned that 90% of all crimes occur around the home? A: She moved.

A blonde decides to try horseback rising. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control, and she is thrown from the horse. Just as she loses consciousness, the carousel stops.

Q: Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A: She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.

It was the first time a blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family, so she prepared a dinner by herself. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. “Mom, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” …

Q: What happens after you find out that a blonde passed a test? A: You wake up.

Q: Why did the blonde sell her television? A: To buy a VCR.