While her husband was at work, a blonde decided to paint their living room. After her husband arrives home, he finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat while wearing a parka and a mink. He asked her what she was doing. She said, “I wanted …

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it’s for. He responds, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.”The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.Her coworker asks, “What do you have …

Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911? A: She can’t find the eleven.

What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.

Jack tells his doctor how he can no longer sustain an erection. After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, “The problem is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There’s really nothing I can do unless you’re willing to try an experimental treatment. We would …

What’s the only animal that has to be oiled? A mouse. Why? ‘Cause it squeaks!

A woman went to the doctor’s and complained of being really sore. “Do you have any idea why?” “Well, I had sex with an elephant!” “You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!” “Yeah, but he fingered me first.”

What’s the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!

What’s green and red, and goes 100 mph? A frog in a blender!

In my past life I was a horse; now I’m just hung like one.