Q: What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? A: Ruff!

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn’t matter — he’s not going to come anyway.

Q: What kind of fish does a dog catch? A: Catfish.

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a telephone? A: A golden receiver.

Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers? A: They have two left feet.

Q: Why did the dog cross the road? A: He saw some dog food.

Q: What do you call a dog that has balls of steel and is dragging them across cement? A: Sparky.

Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women’s crotches? A: Same reason.

Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with an elephant? A: A very nervous postman.

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods? A: “I’ll never do that for two bucks again.”