A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.“I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?”“Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. …

You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn’t used to be?

Yo’ Mama is so hairy, when she went into the woods, Bigfoot took pictures of her.

A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head. The barman asks, “Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?”The man replies, “It’s a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday.”The barman remarks, “But it’s Wednesday.”Sheepishly, the man says, …

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer. He chugs it, looks into his pocket and asks for another beer. He chugs that beer, looks into his pocket and asks for another.The man does this a few more times until the bartender asks, “How come you ask …

It was traumatic for me — not as traumatic as turning gay.

I start shaving myself, and with every stroke, it’s looking more and more pathetic down there, you know? It’s like, ‘Oh my God, I look like a 12-year-old boy.’ So, you know, I left sideburns.

An 80-year-old man tells his wife, “I’m going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills.”

Yo’ Mama is so fat, yo’ daddy is still climbing back off.

An elderly woman goes to the doctor for a checkup. She says, “Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”The doctor asks, “Have you tried to give him Viagra?”The lady frowns. “Doctor, I can’t even get him to …