Yo’ Mama is so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

You’ll be so fat after Thanksgiving your driver’s license will say “picture continued on other side.”

I don’t know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

You’ll be so fat after Thanksgiving you’ll get turned on reading a cook book.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she won a marathon because no one could fit by her on the street.

You know you gotta lose some weight when your girlfriend wants to lick your titties.

From time to time, my mother puts on her wedding dress. Not because she’s sentimental, she just gets really far behind on her laundry.

You’ll be so fat after Thanksgiving the tag on your clothes will read “Made in Hungary, Turkey, China, U.S.A., Algeria, Japan, and Indonesia.”

You’ll be so fat after Thanksgiving you’ll fill the bathtub before you even turn on the water.

When your floor model TV messes up, what are you supposed to do? Put a little one on the top.