How many Java programmers does it take to change a light bulb? One, to generate a “ChangeLightBulb” event to the socket.

How many IBM employees does it take to change a light bulb? Fifteen. Five to do it, and ten to write document number GC7500439-001, Multitasking Incadescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only “This page intentionally left blank”.

A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it could not find the printer. The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printerbut his computer still could not ‘see’ the printer.

Do you turn on your computer with your left hand or your right hand? ” My right hand.” ” Amazing!Most people have to use the on/off switch.”

Computer helpline? Everytime I log onto the seven dwarfs website my computer screen goes snow white….

Customer: I think I’ve got a bug in my computer. Repairman: Does your computer make a humming noise? Customer: Yes. Repairman: Then it must be a humbug!

Helpline? I’ve just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped working? No, but there’s a lot of crackling.

How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out? Hide their trainers.

I’ve been on my computer all night! Don’t you think you’d be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?

I’ve been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven’t seen a single website. That’s because you’re supposed to sit facing the screen.