What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire? A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.

Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. “Oh. Maud,” said her friend, “you’ve lost your engine!” “Never mind, …

How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car? Put him in the front.

What car do insects drive? A Volkswagen automobile.

My dad is stupid. He thinks a fjord is a Norwegian motor car.

What is the meaning of afford? It’s the car most sales representatives drive.

Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding. One said, “What are we going to do?” The other replied, “Quick, turn the car into a side street.”

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost? It had a nervous breakdown.

If you watch the way that many motorists drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous part of a car is the nut behind the wheel.

What should a teacher take if he’s run down? The number of the car that hit him.