A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sitting opposite said, ‘It’s no good you talking to me, young man, I’m stone deaf !

A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!. The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !

Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver.

Brother: How do you top a car ? Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ? Because she’d never be able to learn the language

Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. ‘Oh, Gladys,’ said her friend, ‘you’ve lost your engine! ‘Never mind …

What do you call a pig who’s been arrested for dangerous driving ? A road hog !

Teacher: “Who built the first American car?” Student: “Me Pilgrims.” Teacher: “The Pilgrims?” Student: “Yeah, they made the Mayflower Compact.”

What did one car muffler say to the other car muffler? “Am I exhausted!”