A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac. The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it …
Přečíst celý »Roční archivy: 2016
The bartender asks the guy
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.” A lawyer, sitting …
Přečíst celý »A brain walks into a bar and
A brain walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint of beer please.” The barman looks at him and says “Sorry, I can’t serve you.” “Why not?” askes the brain. “You’re already out of your head.”
Přečíst celý »One night, this guy come
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried. “What’s the matter?” the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t …
Přečíst celý »A man had been out in the
A man had been out in the back woods for weeks, cutting logs. He was a bit scruffy and didn’t smell very good. Finally he needed a break and came in to town for a few beers. In the bar, he saw the local jock of the town’s football team. …
Přečíst celý »A regular at Bob’s Bar
A regular at Bob’s Bar came in one evening sporting a matched pair of swollen black eyes that appeared extremely painful. “Whoa, Sam!” said the bartender. “Who gave those beauties to you?” “Nobody gave them to me,” said Sam. “I had to fight like crazy for both of them.”
Přečíst celý »It seems a gentleman had too
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given …
Přečíst celý »The drunk was
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose.” “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m …
Přečíst celý »A man drinks a shot of
A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to quit; she gets two shot glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. After getting him to the table that had the glasses, she brings his bait box. …
Přečíst celý »Every night, after dinner, a
Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go …
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