Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I’d have to do it soon ’cause it’s getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it — the latest — by …
Přečíst celý »Roční archivy: 2016
Little Johnny… Snakes and Bushes
Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, “A bush.”The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he’s in the shower. He asks, “What is that big long thing hanging …
Přečíst celý »Carmen Stockton: Being an Overweight Child
It wasn’t difficult for me to run. It was really difficult for me to stop suddenly, which is probably why not only once, not only twice, but 13 times, I ran through my parents’ patio screen door.
Přečíst celý »Byron Yee: One of Three Minorities
Where I grew up in Oklahoma City, I was one of only three minorities. There was me, a black guy and a smart guy.
Přečíst celý »Building Big Religious Families
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. “I have four boys, and my wife is expecting another,” says the Catholic. “One more son, and I’ll have a basketball team.” “That’s nothing,” says the Baptist. “I have 10 boys now, and my wife …
Přečíst celý »Bring Your Daughter to Work Day
A man and his little girl arrive home after Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. The little girl asks, “Daddy, why do you call your assistant a doll?” His wife glares at him. He explains, “Well, honey, it’s a term of affection. She’s very hard-working, and Daddy appreciates her efficiency.” …
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Nickels and Dimes
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime — Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, …
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Teacher Crush
In kindergarten, he had a little crush on his kindergarten teacher, which I think is normal. I think for just about everybody, at some point in your life, there’s one teacher you had a secret crush on. For me, it’s my wife’s aerobic teacher.
Přečíst celý »Brian Kiley: Setting Up Baby
The day my little boy was born, a friend of mine called me because his little girl was born the day before. He goes, ‘Who knows? Maybe they’ll end up getting married.’ My little boy’s a day old. His little girl’s two days old. He’s not gonna marry someone twice …
Přečíst celý »Little Johnny… Mortgage
Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday.Johnny’s father says, “We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a $200 bike this year.”Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in …
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