When they’re nine years old, they have an attention-seeking constitution that is relentless… Honestly, it makes you want to drive drunk on Halloween. Look at Superman fly!
Přečíst celý »A.J. Jamal: Mama’s Scripture
My mom was the kind that’d send us to church but didn’t go… She’d give us scripture and didn’t even know it. She just made up books. ”Cause in the Book of Ricky, it says you should give your mama five percent of your gross income.’
Přečíst celý »Kite Tails and Rejection
One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and crashing. The father comforts the son and the mother yells, ”You need more tail!” The father then tells the son, ”Son, I will never understand your mom. Last night when we were having …
Přečíst celý »A.J. Jamal: Love Your Parents
We need to just understand saying ‘I love you’ to your mom and dad because you only get one mom — and two or three dads.
Přečíst celý »Kevin Shea: On Being Adopted
I was such a mean little kid. I was like, ‘Dad, you know what? You can’t tell me what to do. You’re not even my real father.’ He’s like, ‘Watch your mouth, boy. I still got the receipt.’
Přečíst celý »A.J. Jamal: Is Your Mama Whipping You?
We were watching this commercial on television. Commercial said, ‘If you’re having problems with your mama whipping you, call this 800 number.’ I called that number. My mama answered the phone.
Přečíst celý »Kevin Shea: Adopted Family
They adopted a bunch of us. There’s a bunch of adopted kids. It’s like they were collecting us or something, like Star Wars figures. They bought us in twos. It sucked for my brother ’cause they kept him in the box. They had to: he came with the helmet and …
Přečíst celý »A.J. Jamal: After Christmas
My mama was so cheap, she waited ’til after Christmas. ‘Baby, Santa Claus missed our house. I called him, and he coming back tomorrow.’ She was waiting for the stuff to go on sale.
Přečíst celý »A Wrinkle in Time
A little girl got on her grandpa’s lap and said, “Did God make me?” “Yes,” the grandpa replied. “Did God make you too?” “Yes,” the grandpa said. “Well,” the little girl said, looking at his wrinkles and thinning hair. “He sure is doing a better job nowadays!”
Přečíst celý »Kevin Rooney: Hand Puppets
I’m selling these hand puppets, and its Christmas time, and I’m doing little voices for the kids and whatnot. And the kids want five of these little hand puppets, so the mother comes over, and she says, ‘OK, all right, we’ll take five of the hand puppets.’ So I’m putting …
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