Q: What’s the difference between a proctologist and a bartender? A: The proctologist only handles one a**hole at a time.

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, when she ran away from home, her parents called the dog catcher.

A fat woman and a skinny woman were sitting together at a restaurant. “Men prefer thin women,” said the skinny woman. “Really? Did your boyfriend tell you that?” said the fat one. “No, your boyfriend told me that!”

Yo’ Mama is so fat, when she went in for a portrait, the photographer charged for a family sitting.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, not even her Rice Krispies will talk to her.

Yo’ daddy’s so ugly, when he looked out the window he was arrested for mooning!

Yo’ Mama is so fat, she needs six frames for her portrait.

Yo’ Mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducks.

You’re so poor, thieves break into your house and leave things.