Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. “We didn’t find any money, but we got something to eat,” he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next …
Přečíst celý »Baldy Pants
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Přečíst celý »Baby Zombies
Q: What’s worse than finding 10 zombie babies in one garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Přečíst celý »Baby Jobs
Three triplets in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, “I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here.” The second one says, “I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here.” …
Přečíst celý »Baby Drink
Q: How do you make a baby drink? A: Stick it in the blender.
Přečíst celý »Archeological Gag
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
Přečíst celý »An Old Fart
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. While sitting in her new room, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. After a while, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put …
Přečíst celý »An Assortment of Nuts
Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Walnuts. Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chestnuts. Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth.
Přečíst celý »Amish Life
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass? A: A mechanic!
Přečíst celý »Always Bring the Fingers
A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, “Give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.” The injured man repies, “But I don’t have the fingers!” “Why didn’t you bring them?” the doctor asks. …
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