Egg-Laying Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break

Dogs are such smart animals. They’re so intelligent because they mark their territory with urine. They pee on it, they think it’s theirs. That’s so smart. Imagine if people did that — the homeless would own everything.

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s screwing a chicken.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet? A: To put out fires. Q: Why do elephants have flat feet? A: To put out burning ducks.

A man invites a friend to watch his prize duck hunting dog at work.They approach the first pond, the dog runs ahead into the brush. He comes back and waves his tail once. The owner tells his friend that this means there is one duck on the pond. They walk …

Q: What do you call an illegally parked frog? A: Toad.

Q: What do donkeys send out near Christmas? A: Mule-tide greetings.

Q: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk? A: A milk dud.

Q: Why do dogs lick themselves? A: Because they can.