An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its …

If a farmer was only able to choose between buying a cow or a tractor, what should he pick. On one hand, he would look funny riding on a cow. On the other hand, he would look funnier trying to milk a tractor.

Q: What do you call a cow murder mystery? A: A moo-done-it.

Q: What do cows read in the morning? A: The daily moos.

Q: What do you call a cow who’s had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.

Q: What is the clumsiest insect? A: The bumbling bee.

I never talk to our cat, and our cat certainly never talks to me. So I don’t know why my wife is compelled to put the cat on the phone when I call home, but I love my wife, so I will talk to the cat.

Q: Why didn’t Smokey the Bear have cubs? A: Every time his wife got hot, he stomped her out.

Q: Why did the chicken run onto the football field? A: Because the umpire called a foul.

Q: Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? A: It wanted to lay it on the line.