I went to buy some condoms today, and I said to the pharmacist, ‘Excuse me, I need some condoms.’ And he said, ‘Just a minute.’ And I said, ‘Oh, that’s my brand.’

They say that every man has a female side. I read that in Cosmo. I don’t know about you guys, but when I find mine I’m going to rub it really hard. I am just going to go nuts because I want my party to last a half an hour, …

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife. “See if they fit.” “They don’t.” “Now you see who will wear the pants in this house.” She thought a little while, and took off her panties and asked …

A women came home one day with a mirror and told her husband it was magic. Her husband told her to prove it. She said watch, ”Mirror, mirror on the wall, make my boobs biggest of all.” Sure enough, they grew huge. The husband was amazed and said, “Ooh, oooh, …

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, “Please let me go. I’ll grant you any wish you desire.” The man said, “Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground.” So the crocodile bit his legs off.

What does a guy say when he’s going to masturbate? “I’m gonna to go hit the sack!”

How can you tell if a man is lying? His lips are moving.

Q: Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg? A: They don’t stop to ask for directions

Q: Why was Oprah stopped at the airport? A: She was arrested for carrying 300 pounds of crack in her pants.

Ma and Pa are sitting out on the front porch one day. “You know what? Junior’s 21. It’s time we taught him about sex. Junior, get out here!”. Junior runs out. ‘Junior, I think it’s time to teach you about sex.” “Sex,” says Junior. “What’s sex?” “Well,” Pa says. “Take …